Darling, your eyes

Darling: Collar and Cuffs discrepancy

the romulan ambassador to darlington
"the romulans reject your pitiful existence, northern rock mortgage holders."

Alistair Darling faces a new challenge to his already troubled Chancellorship. Still reeling from the Northern Rock fiasco, the latest challenge to Darling’s credibility concerns inconsistencies in his facial hair.

At the end of a weekend of heavy pressure from fellow Members of Parliament, Alistair Darling, in a candid interview on ‘Breakfast with Frost’, admitted that ‘grievous errors’ had been made in the decision making proces over the issue of whether he should dye either his elegant silver fox hair, or his bristling black eyebrows, Darling conceded that he had been ‘gravely indecisive.’

Opposition members were quick to seize on this apparent admission of weakness from Labour’s front bench. Smug faced toff Oliver Letwin simpered, ‘This is a startling oversight from the man to whom we trust our economy.’ Letwin also insisted that the matter was not finished. ‘What the British public and we rightly demand to know, is whether the rug matches the curtains.’ The Exchequer has declined to comment further on this issue.