where's he gone,

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This is what it's all about. It's fuckin poetry.
No it's not fucking 'dead dogs' Ron Jeremy, It's Hugh keays- Byrne alias The Toe Cutter from Mad Max.

The Cast

My CBX HONDA Mick's XJ YAMAHA Brian's Van Serpents

My HONDA CBX 550 MICK'S YAMAHA XJ 650 A Van A Chopper

smoke in smoke in dopesmoke in dope


On Motorbiking

I rang Brian because Mick and Bill Fry had been in touch and wanted to meet  up for a weekend reunion of the old pronto bike's crew. Brian didn't have a bike anymore but he was going to come in his van. I explained on the phone that It was a guy's weekend but he still turned up with his bitch and the fucking dog. Which thinking back, I should have known would have only caused a load of trouble and it did.

I see bad omens

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We arranged over the phone to meet in Birmingham at the pub next-door to the National Express coach depot. I was on my CBX550 with Peck on the back as usual. Mick Fry turned up on his XJ650 with their Bill on the back. Motty had been asked but wasn't interested. Brian arrived late with the bitch and his dog .We sat round for about two hours drinking beer waiting for him to turn up and when he eventually showed up, we head North up the M6 to join the M54 to Wales. We were going camping to Harlech for two nights. Everything was fine until just outside Shrewsbury, then Mick got a puncture. I was following him and Brian was in front. We all pulled over into a lay-by and Mick said he'd have to go into Shrewsbury and find a bike shop that could repair the tyre. Me and Mick got the rear wheel off and I give him a lift  into Shrewsbury town. It's quite a busy place and we soon found a Motorcycle dealers who fixed the puncture within the hour. When we got back Bill said that Brian had got fed up waiting and had gone off to Harlech. Mick had been slagging Brian off all the way to Shrewsbury and Brian pissing off was just the catalyst to put Mick in a bad mood. I think he didn't want Brian involved in the weekend because he didn't have a bike anymore and secondly after telling him it was a boy's weekend he had turned up with the Irish bitch( no disrespect Caroline) and the fucking hound.

Anyway after we got the punture fixed things were looking up and we were back on the road heading for Harlech. This was in pre-mobile days so contact was by bumping into one another rather than any sort of tele-communications. Harlech's not that big, it might have about four or five pubs so it wasn't hard to track Brian down because he had to be in one of them. If you go to Harlech there are two roads that run through the town, One is the low road and goes past the University buildings and the other is the high road and runs past the castle and the all shops in the center. Brian was in the pub on the low road, I can't remember it's name but I think it was called 'The railway' and It was only by pure chance that this was the first pub we stopped at, on arriving in Harlech. Mick had calmed down after a pint and we were all getting on great I fought. We left after about two pints because I wanted to find a camping site and drop my bike off, Mick came with me and left his bike at the site as well. We all got in the back of van and head off to the pub .Brian said he was sleeping in the van because getting accommodation with the dog might be tricky.

Bar staff wanted apply within hotel !

The Gang

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A bloke in the railway pub had earlier told us that there was a band on up at the Castle pub, so we decided to go up there and check it out. We went in the bar and Bill got chatting to a gang of outlaw bikers about bikes, I can't remember exactly what they were called but I think it was Devil's Serpents or something to do with snakes. They came from Liverpool because Mick was talking to one of them and he said he was from Toxteth. Brian wasn't to impressed and fucked off into the lounge with Caroline. Bill and Mick went over to their table and got into a big conversion about bikes. Me and Poodle head went next-door to sit with Brian because the band were shit. After about an hour Bill and Mick turned up in the lounge, it seems that Bill had upset one the outlaw Bikers when he started slating Brit bikes off. Something else had gone down but I wasn't sure what it was? Either Bill had tried to show how hard he was by taking a swing at a member of the bar staff or the outlaw bikers had told them to do one. We all stayed in the lounge for the rest of the night and the atmosphere was crap. Bill, Mick, Brian and Caroline were arguing all night, It end with Mick taking a swing at Caroline, nice!  Not long after I walked back to the camp site with Pecky and missed round two at the hotel.

The Morning After Look

Right you lot fuck off!

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Mick, Bill and Brian's triumvirate had gone into the Hotel to see about accommodation for the night. Brian paid for a double room, I don't know how but he managed to get Caroline and dog in as well( the dog maybe but Caroline - really pushing his luck there) . Mick booked a single room and Bill ends up in there with him. They all end up in Brian's room for a night cap until  Mike takes a swing at Brian while Bill is punching Caroline's lights out. At two o'clock in the morning the Hotel Manager storms in and ends up throwing them all out expect Mike . Bill turns up at the campsite demanding I give Him a lift up to the Castle pub because Mick's getting filled in by outlaw biker's. This was a load of bullshit, Mick was in a room at hotel fast a sleep and I was too tired to give a shit. I told Bill to fuck off and went back to sleep.He slept at the bottom of my tent - the lying cunt. Brian spent the night in a lay-by and fucked off home early in the morning. I met up with Mick the next day and we headed for home. We stopped at a cafe for breakfast and I told him that this was the last time I was ever going away with this crowd.Yes ! Mick and Bill ruined the weekend but I think Brian didn't help bringing his women.

Every time Brian recalls that weekend in Harlech he always goes on about 'the look on Mick's face' as he hit him on the head with a carrier bag full of dog food.            


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