This is what it's all about. It's fuckin poetry.
On motty’s eighteenth birthday he had arranged to go down to 'the Talbot arms' and get pissed off his head. Me, Motty, and a mate of his called Philly walked down to the pub and later Bri and Phil Day turned up on a Jam butty car eater.They only stayed for one pint because I think they were up to something dodgy, probably nicking something.
Anyway after they went motty started drinking like a fish and on his fourth pint suggested we all put a pound note in the ashtray and the first to finish his pint would get the money. We all started drinking and his mate(philly) won and I came second, motty finished last. Just as he put his glass on the table, He went into what I can only describe as a 'john hurt-alien belly bursting scene'- pumping beer out of his gob into the ash and all over the table. The manager of the alehouse was over like a shot because all the people in the snug had disappeared to the main bar, scared of being spray with sick. Motty had ran in toilets and left me and his mate to carry the can.
I told the manager that it was Motty’s eighteenth and he had drunk too much. He said we could stay as long as we cleaned the mesh up and he didn't drink anymore alcohol.I ended up with the mop cleaning the mess. When I had finished I took the mop back to the bogs only to find motty in trap one honking up and a trail of sick from the toilet entrance to the trap, he was in. When we went back to the table I told him he better take it easy but he took no notice and carried on drinking. Near the end of the night Loopy turned up and seeing the state of Motty,scarpered after one pint. At chucking out time Motty was comatosed,me and Philly had to carry him home.
We got pulled over by the old bill and I think they wanted to take Motty away in back of the van. His mate Philly was in the army and he showed them his pass and guarranted to take Motty home. They let him go on the agreement that we seen him right to the front door of his house.
We staggered back to his house via the railway line, half way back Philly turned off down a track to his dads leaving me to take motty home. I walked him to his house and as soon as he opened the door his dad was standing there looking really annoyed. I decided it was time to disappear and slopped off, leaving Motty and his old fellow   arguing on the step.The Talbort Arms Dutton is famous for it's home video of Alien(1982), is now called The tunnel Top.
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