Some of fatman's phrases translated into Italian:
(GB) I need more paper than this my arse is falling apart? (I) Ho bisogno di più la carta di questo mio culo sta cadendo a pezzi
(GB) waiter take this wine away it tastes of shit? (I) cameriere prendere questo vino di distanza ha un gusto di merda
(GB) In italy we drink only the finest wines so fatman fuck off? (I) In Italia si beve solo i migliori vini in modo Fatman fuck off
(GB) Night of the damson is a product of Nolan Industries? (I) notte del damson è un prodotto delle Industrie Nolan
(GB) can you tell me how much is this wine and where was it made? (I )il prezzo è di venti euro ed è dalla nave Manchester canale
(GB) Have you got a bottle just like this but full? (I) hai una bottiglia, proprio come questo, ma la piena
(GB) If you are reading this page you'r a moran? (I) Se state leggendo questa pagina siete moran

Classification by Type Fatman style

Classification by Type Fatman style
1.Curse of the Damson Red Would be known by Italian's as Curse of the Casa de Shite, if anyone from italy was daft enough to drink it . Damson fruity flavour.Translation: Maggio puo'causare tumori all'intestino se bervero regolari ed esplosiiva intestino movimento se bevvero irregolari. ll gusto del vino come shit it's fatman's damson vino ho avuto qualche leri sera e miei arse e ai di la'
2.Hallam university Red Acidic sparkling piss and the most affordable finest wine available to fucking students. Goes well with an old brass and a gramme of charlie ajax and all paid for by government grants.Only if you're lucky or unlucky enough to born in Scotland - come on, you wee shawer of bastards ! Free student grants available in Scotland only.
3.Black cherry Red Soft fruity/nutty flavour rather like the inside of a squashed road kill squirrel.
4.Red witch Red Fruity blackberry flavour.Being used as a flavouring for poor quality meat or veggie meat in veggy hell manor.
5.Pineapple White Acidic unknown.Still got complete stock. None starter, need to give the whole batch to the Castlefields centre white lighting crew or test on Colin Nolan-wine testers guinea pig.
6.Elderberry Red Slimy yuk! with bits floating in it. Looks like the pan used to boil eggs in after the egg splits or egg white, man fat, duck oil city.The body of this wine resembles the slug orgyies of Boundary Lane ,after some drunk spewed his ring outside our front door every Saturday night. I Could possibly pass it off as a fine french merlot to unsuspecting guests.
7.Scarecrow Red kind of scary acidic fruity bat shit flavour. Too scared to drink it, could be fatal.
8.Billberry Red Unknown could be a winner. Waiting results from Tom & jenny but don’t expect much joy
9.Halloween Special Red Mysteriously acidic taste but when the mystery's over the shitting starts should be called “ Halloween eye of the needle”
10.Chardonnay White Out of stock, I drank it ; it was nice tasty bit of kit wine. No bits, no side effects and no shits(yummy vino).


Classification by the professional's
1.Table wine To be drunk With a meal. Drunk by the middle classes, in the hope other people will see how sophisticated they look when they get comatosed and start talking about the life of Bryon-A Monty python film.
2.Liqueurs After meal tipple i.e Port and huge cigars with pretentiously charming birds like Dawn Swan. Who let you shag them up the arse while they empty your wallet . Goes well with fast car talk as well i.e Jeremy Clarkson drunk a bottle of port in 0-60 secs, he’s got loads of torque, all shit i'm affraid-the lanky prick.
3.Desert wine Drink with sweet / pudding. Gay person's pre-bumming and snogging tipple.Not for the faint hearted or straight People. Christopher Biggins favourite drink, laced with a couple of Viagra-just before bedtime(ohh ! isn't he Scrummy for a homo).
4.Mead Anytime, before, during and after a huge meal consisting of every wild dead animal of the forest's of England in medieval times. Stuff that made knights shit themselves and where the phrase “cast iron stomach” comes from.
5.Champagne Traditional celebration drink for rich show-offs and wankers. Thrown at ships to test sea worthiness by royalty. Champagne bottle once used by a good friend of mine as a sexual aid before coitus
6.Aperitif Drunk before a meal "would you like a small Sherry in the Rovers Emily"said Norris. Then later maybe we can have a fucking good shafting session you filthy old slag. What old ladies & vicars drink to get cabbaged.The church warden said after a gallon of emva cream"I say vicar have you every been tempted to give one of parishers a right good shafting up the wrong un".

Table of Red/White Clasification style
1.Cabernet sauvignon Red Full bodied blackcurrant
2.Merlot Red Fruity
3.Pinot Noir Red or white Soft fruity .
4.Syrah Red Fruity blackberry.
5.Sauvignon blanc White Acidic green vegetal.
6.Riesling White Peachy.
7.Muscat White Sparkling grapey
8.Gewurztraminer White Spicy exotic fruity
9.Semillon White Sweet
10.Chardonnay White Buttery.

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